Do Vampires Need Life Insurance?

Do Vampires Need Life Insurance?
Do Vampires Need Life Insurance?

As any fan of popular fiction knows, unlike us mere mortals vampires can live forever and once a human has been inducted into the realm of the undead bloodsucker, he or she can enjoy a life of infinite longevity and youthfulness, which makes a life insurance policy somewhat redundant. Of course eternal life does come at a price – a vampire must endure the pain of seeing their loved ones grow old and eventually die a natural death (assuming they haven’t used their relative as a convenient blood bank).

Is it Possible to Kill a Vampire?

Vampires are not easy to kill, but they are not indestructible, so if you have any suspicions about the way a relative, friend or acquaintance looks forever young (and you are certain they haven’t developed a close personal relationship with a cosmetic surgeon), find out how to kill a vampire.

3 Ways to Kill a Vampire

• Drag a vampire kicking and screaming into the direct sunlight and you will quickly see them burn like a bonfire until all that remains is a pile of ash and dust.
• A stake through the heart is the best way to kill a vampire, although the stake needs to be nice and sharp in order to do the job.
• Cutting a vampire’s head off will definitely kill him or her immediately. This does, however, require some skill with a sharp blade.

Are All Vampires Dangerous?

Some vampires are undoubtedly very dangerous, which is why it is a seriously bad idea to go hiking at night through remote and mountainous areas of the Balkans. However, not all vampires are dangerous (or at least not in a deadly, life-threatening manner), and if you end up with a vampire spouse or relative, you may wish to buy a life insurance policy just in case they meet a sticky end with a pointy stick or ray of sunlight.

Why Would I Need a Life Insurance Policy for a Spouse Who is Going to Live Forever?

Just because a vampire spouse is more indestructible than the average spouse, it does not mean you can afford to rest on your laurels and assume they are never going to die. Imagine how inconvenient it would be if your spouse was locked out just as the sun rose? Exactly, which is why buying a life insurance policy is a sensible precaution to take.

Author: admin

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